Why you overeat at night, and what to do
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The other day, I was thinking about how the evenings tended to go for me in the past:
I'd get home with the intention of working out (which would rarely stick for long) and 'being good.' However, as time passed, I started feeling like having a little something. But I was not like other girls whose little something is a carrot! My little something was 'bad food.' So I'd start thinking about it, looking for excuses and telling myself I could eat just a little bit, I could control myself.
If you know what I'm talking about, you know the rest of the story. These situations feel disempowering and frustrating, and uncomfortable emotions toward yourself creep in. Because of this, I want to show you why this is not your fault.
I want you to know the real reasons why you overeat at night (and feel out of control) and, of course, what you can do to make empowering, lasting changes.
Six reasons you overeat at night
1. You haven't eaten enough
It could be because you're so busy that you 'forget' to eat (aka, don't pay attention and honor your hunger cues), you don't eat to have a sense of control during a stressful day, or you have some rules in your head that make your meals unsatisfying.
Regardless, if you don't eat enough throughout the day, you'll naturally be more hungry in the evening and overeat. When we feel hungry, our body is communicating with us, it's telling us that it needs energy. You start your day with a certain amount of energy that you use by, well... living. If you don't 'replenish the tank' during the day, you feel tired and cranky, and you'll need more fuel than you would have before to get back to your average energy level. Does that make sense? So, of course, if you eat less during the day, you'll need more food in the evening.
Also, what kind of decisions do you make when you're tired and cranky? Not the best ones, right? You're exhausted and 'hangry,' so you'll probably look for convenient foods rich in calories.
2. You skipped meals
Maybe you're thinking, "I do eat enough; that's not the problem I have." Yes, you might serve enough food on your plate when you eat, but how many times a day are you eating? Are you skipping breakfast? Are you eating lunch, or are you too busy to eat something? Are you eating when you feel hungry?
A few years back, while in my coaching certification, I experimented with fasting. At the beginning, it felt great! I could do it, and I felt sharp and even energized! But then I started to see how, little by little, I was snacking all day during my eating window. At night, some days, I was able to 'stick to the plan,' but on others, I'd rush and eat 'bad food' during the last minutes of my window, and it was pretty difficult to stop myself. By restricting food in the morning, my whole day revolved around food.
So, if you tend to skip meals (on purpose or because of work), I invite you to observe and reflect on how that works for you without judgment. Reflect on the pros and cons, whether it's a rule or a preference, how it makes you feel about food, about yourself, and how it affects your relationship with food.
3. You are restricting foods
This one is connected to the first two, but it deserves to be mentioned because it's very tied to diet culture. Not eating enough or skipping meals can definitely be part of diet rules, but there's more to it.
Diet culture has made us believe we need to follow a set of food rules to be healthy and feel in control around food (which set of rules? Who knows! There are so many, right?). Then, when you choose the specific rules you will follow, you see yourself as being good when you do and bad when you don't.
Regardless of the diet, the rules are always external to you. They never honor your taste, preferences, or hunger and fullness cues. They're focused on the type and amount of food you should or shouldn't eat, and often, even when you're supposed to eat.
Being good means restricting foods and following external rules that lead to feelings of deprivation. As the tension from this deprivation builds up during the day, at the end of it, the tension breaks, and you 'give in.' As you start, there's a big chance you'll overeat them and feel out of control.
4. All-or-nothing mentality
You decide to give yourself permission to eat a couple of cookies, chocolate squares, a little piece of cake, a handful of cereals, or whatever you like and enjoy, but that makes you overthink your choices and spend time and energy feeling guilty and ashamed about them.
Your head is already worrying about the 'consequences' and won't stop. So you think that you've already ruined your 'good eating' day, so you might as well eat whatever you want and start again tomorrow (or Monday).
I struggled with an all-or-nothing mentality a lot. It sabotaged any attempt to 'be healthy' (or what I thought it meant). I could not look at one meal at a time and each meal as a new opportunity to make aligned decisions. For me, as soon as in one meal I was 'being bad' (eating pizza, burger, fries, cookies, chocolate, you name it), I would keep eating all the things I wanted because, with a couple of bites, I had already ruined the entire day. In the back of my mind, though, I'd still have food thoughts, guilt, and shame, and the anticipation of having to compensate somehow just made me want to keep going.
5. Emotions built up
Uncomfortable emotions can be... harrowing. Few of us have been taught how to sit and feel our emotions and how to deal with them in a healthy way. However, you did learn the power food had to make you feel better, to give you comfort, and to self-soothe.
Throughout the day, we encounter small and more significant challenges. The way we decide (consciously or unconsciously) to respond to them brings emotions that will be more or less comfortable depending on how we react to life happening. As these challenges occur during the day, if you're not equipped to cope with them in a healthy way instead of pushing them down, it's only normal that the cup feels too full at the end of the day. And when this happens, food comforts us and makes us feel better.
I remember a few years back how after every single challenge or 'bad moment' during the day, I would think about eating a pizza or a burger and some dessert as a moment to look forward to, the bright side of the day, as a reward for how 'bad' the day went, as a way to feel better.
6. You ate distracted all day long
When was the last time you ate without a screen around and took the time to savor each bite? Just think about this: multitasking? Let's say you're writing and answering emails while talking on the phone or listening to a podcast. Ultimately, can you say 100% of your attention was on both tasks? No, you can't! It's the same thing when eating while doing something else.
So when you eat while scrolling on your phone, watching TV, working, or reading, it’s like your brain doesn't register that you are eating. In the same way, you will only remember parts of the conversation with your friend or the podcast if you were trying to write and read emails simultaneously.
I vividly remember this one time when I grabbed a snack and ate while watching a show. Not even half an hour later, I grabbed the same snack. I suddenly remembered that I had already eaten it, but it didn't feel like it.
If you wonder what it looks like not to eat distracted, here's what you need.
What to do: rewire your brain!
Eat consistently throughout the day and do it mindfully
Understand that if you don't eat during the day, you'll probably eat more and feel out of control around food later. Eat when you're hungry and check in to stop before you're too full. Practice mindful eating to be present in the eating experience and feel satisfied.
Challenge the beliefs you have around food and emotions that are holding you back
If you believe carbs are bad, you'll restrict those foods as much as possible. Therefore, you will not eat what your body needs to function (carbs are necessary!). So you restrict, you probably don't eat enough, and feelings of deprivation come up—all from a false belief. Carbs are carbs; that's the fact. Thinking they're bad is something you learned, and it hurts your relationship with food.
Teach your brain there will be no more restriction
Ditch the diet rules and reconnect with your body so that you can relearn to listen to its hunger and fullness cues and rediscover your food preferences. Little by little, habituate yourself to have those foods that make you feel out of control. Always focus on adding instead of restricting.
-> A little hack: let's say you can't stop and not eat the whole bar of chocolate. Have a few stored at home! What?! Yes, by having a few at home, you won't have that sensation of 'it's getting to the end, and I don't know when I'll have more.' You'll slowly teach yourself that those foods will no longer be on a pedestal.
Develop healthy coping mechanisms
Get in tune with your emotions, give them space to be without getting stuck in them, and learn healthy ways to give yourself what you need and how to deal with them.
Download The Ultimate Guide to End Emotional Eating
This guide is designed to empower you with a deeper understanding of your eating habits and a framework that will teach you how to make intentional decisions when you feel the urge to eat those foods.
In a nutshell
You find yourself overeating 'bad' food at night, so you think you have a problem, that you lack willpower and discipline, and that there's nothing you can do. I hope you see now that the problem is not you but the things you've learned and how they've affected how you operate in the world.
With curiosity, compassion, and setting self-judgment aside, you can bring awareness to your eating patterns and make the necessary changes to overcome your struggles. We can all change. Not only can we, but we're meant to. So, it is in our hands to take action and address the things holding us back from living life fully.
If you want to stop overthinking every food choice and finally feel in control around food, I want to help you break free from food guilt so you can focus your time and energy on what's important to you, like your passions and dreams.
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Send an email to coaching@mindfulhealthwithduna.com
