My Teacher: The Hurricane and the Days that Followed
From the window during Hurricane Beryl
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When things happen to us, we have two options:
1. Dwell on it and (over)think about it while trying to control what's happening
or
2. Acknowledge the situation, regulate yourself, and control the only thing you can control: how you take whatever happens and act on it.
The first option leads to feeling like a victim, as we give power to our circumstances, allowing our internal state to depend on what happens outside of ourselves. The second option seizes power for ourselves, as we control our internal state regardless of the situation around us. When we operate from this focus, we can learn from the experience and take the opportunity to grow.
This applies to everything, from spilling coffee in the morning because you're rushing to...well, say... a hurricane hitting your town and all that comes with it. This happened to us recently, which is what I want to share today.
A couple of lessons the hurricane taught me
For context, we were hit by Category 1 Hurricane Beryl. We knew it was coming and made all the necessary arrangements and preparations. We were safe, but it was still quite an experience. After 10 hours of 80 mph winds and a rise in water of 3 feet (we live by a canal), the power went out for almost four days. This event taught me more than I had anticipated.
We underestimate nature's strength, the same way we underestimate our own strength
I observed the ocean growing and elevating 3 feet above sea level. Usually, there are these walls or bulkheads where the water stops (and human construction starts). These barriers give us a false sense of safety because the water never passes over them. However, when the weather changes and phenomena make the ocean expand and gain strength (like a hurricane), the wall doesn't matter anymore; it can't stop the rising water.
Our limiting beliefs act like that wall; they contain us inside a box, making us think that we can't expand it or reach the outside. Through our experiences, these walls have been formed and strengthened, and they can be the reason you feel like something is holding you back, or the reason you're struggling with dissatisfaction in one way or another (I’m too old to change my career. I’m not good at X. I will always have problems with food.)
When you can identify those limiting beliefs, you then have the opportunity to understand their origin and re-frame them so you can let go of the old ones and create new beliefs that support you. New beliefs mean a new way of viewing things. A way that helps you move forward and rewire your brain to change the quality of your thoughts. Here, there's a choice to be made and effort to be put in, for sure. But when you can do this, all of the possibilities become visible before you.
Even though the water goes back to its natural flow in a hurricane (or whatever weather situation), what we want regarding our beliefs is for them to expand our box for good. So once you start doing this work by bringing awareness to your thoughts and patterns to identify your limiting beliefs, challenge them, and change them, you want to stay in that state as much as you can to keep growing and understanding yourself and your circumstances. By using all of this knowledge and taking action, you can make the changes you desire.
A little food for thought: your life is a direct reflection of the beliefs you currently have.
We take so many things for granted
Even being alive! We get to wake up every single morning, and every day, we have a new opportunity to enjoy life and make the most out of it. But we're so busy with our to-do lists, responsibilities, and obligations that we often forget how incredible it is to be alive when we think about it. Anything can turn your world upside down in a second.
If reading this awakens fear in you, I challenge you to consider how that's a reason to make any moment count instead of focusing on the fact that anything 'bad' can happen. It's your life; anything can happen, so live it to the fullest. It might be with support and guidance, but you and only you have the responsibility and power to create and enjoy the life you want.
But let's come down a notch, shall we? Because even though all that is true, there are more mundane things we also take for granted. Generally, we live comfortable lives with many commodities (clean water, electricity). There's nothing wrong with that. However, we tend to forget how those things help make our lives much easier; we take them for granted and don't truly value them. Not only that, what comes from those commodities (laptops, smartphones, microwaves, AC, etc) has become such a norm that those things have started to take over more important things (having hobbies, socializing without screens, eating with family without distraction, having time to just be, be outside, play games, etc).
Valuing these things means acknowledging that they're not something given to everyone, so you're grateful that you have access to them (having light by simply turning a switch on, having a fridge and freezer so you can buy a month's worth of food without it spoiling, having a phone that gives you access to all the information and connects you with people around the globe.) You could have been born anywhere. A place where all commodities and opportunities you enjoy are reserved for a few. Still, you're here, which was totally out of your control. It's not about feeling guilty because you have these things and others don't. It's about being grateful and valuing where you are and what you have while having passions and dreams to work for.
When we're used to having all these things and something 'takes them away' from us (like when the power goes out for days, for example), an adjustment must be made. You can look at it as 'poor me, why is this happening?' or look at it as an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and learn. It's your choice, but the results from one or the other will be quite different.
A little wake-up call
Through the hurricane and the following days, I had the opportunity to observe myself and notice things I was unaware of (or didn't want to see). I had the chance to learn about myself and, therefore, initiate the changes I felt were necessary to live more in alignment not only with my values, but who I want to be and have the life I want for myself. I could observe things to keep and let go of with no judgment but rather with curiosity and compassion.
What I observed
- I caught myself reaching out to my phone way too many times for absolutely nothing. It was eye-opening.
- I was not spending enough time outside even though we have a great outdoor space by the water with shade, a fan, a couch, and a fridge.
- Often, I doubted if I was doing what I was supposed to (staying at home instead of driving who knows show many miles until I could find a coffee shop with Internet and work), which showed me I needed to move from my head to my heart and listen to my intuition.
-My values are strong: We could have charged our phones to 100% battery in our cars. That means having our cars idling for hours, which is an absolute no-no for me. The environment is more important than me scrolling on my phone. We only charged them a little to reassure our families about the situation.
- I was not spending enough time just...being. I was always busy doing one thing or another to avoid feeling unproductive and lazy, which made me feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and too strict, with no time for improvisation and spontaneity.
Some actions I'm taking
- My phone is not around me all the time anymore. If I go for a walk, I leave it at home so I can have a mindful walk; when I go to bed, my phone stays outside the room; if I'm working at my desk, my phone is screen down either on one end of the desk or somewhere else; if I feel like scrolling, I look at the time and decide how long I'll be on my phone.
- I'm intentionally spending much more time outside, either working on my laptop or notebook, drawing, or just looking at the water. As a result, I feel calmer, good and proud of taking advantage of what I have around me. I also feel more in tune with nature again.
Want to play a game?: Camping at home
I'm surprised how much the experience of a hurricane has impacted my internal world. It has helped me observe myself and see things that were not in alignment. With this knowledge, I'm able to decide whether to make changes. Whether I do or not, I cannot deny how much I've learned.
Because of that, I’ve created a 'little big' challenge to help you create an opportunity to learn about yourself in a safe and prepared context.
Before you pass, I invite you to at least have a look and see what it's all about. Yes, it's an invitation to get out of your comfort zone, to learn from the experience, and to just play. And why?
Why not?! We're so used to always doing the same, or at least taking every single thing and commodity we have for granted. Why not play and challenge ourselves to get out of our comfort zone for 48 hours? How many things can you learn from the experience? How many memories can you create? What's holding you back?
No email is required! I believe this challenge can bring you a lot, and I don't want you to miss it because of an email :)
Looking back
In the past, my relationship with food, my body, and my emotions would have held me back from all the things I was able to learn about myself in this experience. I would have been worried about the food we were going to eat. I would have probably given myself permission to eat whatever I wanted during this 'forced vacation,' but I would have spent most of the time thinking about how to get back on track, how to compensate, or how much weight I would put on.
In the past, all this was holding me back from enjoying life to its fullest and looking inward to make the changes I wanted. Now, these thoughts did not haunt me during this experience, and I was able to focus on the important things, observe myself in such a situation, learn, and... enjoy.
How would you have lived in this situation? Would you have been worried about food, its effects, or how to get back on track? Would you have eaten anything around but felt guilty once everything was over?
It's not your fault, and healing is possible.
Break free from food guilt and body shame by ending your emotional eating habits so you can finally feel in control around food and focus on what’s important to you, like your passions and dreams.
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