Has this ever happened to you?

You're watching a movie and suddenly realize you don't know what was happening on the screen for the past few scenes. You were lost in your thoughts and missed a part of the movie.

This had happened to me a thousand times.

And it's the opposite of being mindful.

It was only a movie, and you can rewind it. Not a big deal, right?

But what about all the other situations?

What is it to be mindful?

Simply put, being mindful means being present in the here and now. As Buddha said, "When you're walking, walk; when you're sitting, sit." Sounds simple! But if you think about it, while we are walking, driving, cooking, brushing our teeth, and even eating, we tend to think about to-do lists, things we have said and done, things we should have said or done, different scenarios for a decision, and so on.

Our mind is constantly going from one thought to another. But also from one distraction to the next, as we live in a world with constant stimuli. Nowadays, we are constantly distracted by all the information at our fingertips. So much so that many people don't feel at ease if they don't have that distraction that prevents them from actually feeling and being in the present.

This is even more true in Western countries where we're in "the doing" more than "the being." As a result, we are not truly experiencing our lives, and we judge every situation, emotion, and thought we have. We either get stuck into these, or we run away from them.

When we learn to be mindful, though, we observe without judgment, with curiosity and acceptance. When we're mindful, we truly experience a walk, a conversation, or eating with our senses and intention.

Lack of mindful living

When we don't set the intention of being present and mindful in whatever it is we are doing, our mind wanders. As a result, we miss out. How do we miss out? We don't hear the birds chirping during our walk; we get injured when working out because we're not focused on how our body feels; we space out during a conversation with a friend; we get angry at someone who's late. And we could keep thinking of an endless list. But you get the idea.

Additionally, when our mind wanders without control, it tends to go to worries about the past or the future, which can lead to anxiety, regret, and worry when we get stuck into negative thoughts and rumination. Not only that, it also adds stress, can bring other emotions, and can push us to be quite reactive. Take the example of someone being late: you're waiting, and maybe your mind starts thinking about how disrespectful that is. Negative thoughts about the situation start popping up: "They are always late," "I always have to be waiting, they're making me waste my time," "I hate waiting," and "If I had known, I wouldn't have stopped doing what I was doing"…

How does this make you feel just reading it? What's another way to approach this situation? If we stay in the present, we acknowledge the situation without judgment (it's neither positive nor negative). Suppose these kinds of thoughts come up, and we bring curiosity to understand why we're reacting this way (always without judgment). In that case, we can challenge them and see if they're true, and we can reframe our thoughts to something more neutral like "They are not late because they chose to make me wait," "Even though I don't like waiting, I can take this time to…".

Can you see how, at first, the "thinking mind" takes a negative thought and spirals down, giving more reasons to be mad? And how when you move to an observing mind, you can change your perception of a neutral event and react in a more supportive way? Once those friends arrive, depending on this process, your demeanor will be different. Would you rather be mad and have an akward time with them? Or would you prefer to change your perspective and not "ruin" your time with your friends? Of course, you can tell them that you don't like waiting so they can take that into account next time. Still, your way of expressing yourself will differ, and the interaction will go in a different direction.

By choosing to live more mindfully, you can enjoy fully the experiences you live day after day (the special ones and the mundane ones) and start understanding yourself better. This is if you approach it with curiosity and nonjudgment. This is a starting point when working on our personal development and growth when we aim to become the person we want to be.

Eating in a fast-paced society

Let's be honest. Most of us are multitasking while we eat. I'm not talking only about eating while we work but also while watching TV or scrolling on social media. We eat while being distracted. This might be news for you, but multitasking is not a thing. Our brain cannot focus on more than one thing at a time, which means that when we think we are multitasking, we're actually not truly focusing on any tasks.

I understand that we live a fast-paced life and try to get done as much as possible. But how is this working for us? We don't take time to stop working and sit to eat; we eat while we drive because of the long list of things we have to do; we eat whatever is at hand because we don't have time to listen to what we truly want, we postpone eating so that we can finish whatever task we are doing. We're telling our bodies that we're not important enough to stop doing all the other things to nourish them, pay attention to them, and care for them.

Listening to our body and going to the bathroom when we need it, sleeping when we're tired, or eating when we're hungry is a form of self-care and self-love. By being mindful, listening to our body's signals, and meeting those needs, we're telling our bodies that we care and that they deserve the attention it's asking for.

As difficult as it may be, I believe that it's essential to set some boundaries and take the time to meet these basic needs, not only when our bladder is going to burst but also when we're so tired that our eyes hurt or we're so hungry that we get a headache or get angry. Our bodies have needs, and no one can meet them for us. We need to take responsibility and stand up for ourselves as an expression of self-love and self-care.

Distracted eating

A few months ago, something happened that made me understand very clearly how not being present in the eating experience made me want to eat more. It was mid-afternoon, and I was hungry. I grabbed a snack while I was watching a show. Not even 20 minutes after eating, I stood up to grab the same snack. It was like my brain hadn't registered that I had already eaten!

When we eat while distracted, and we don't engage our senses or our attention and intention, different things happen:

1. We don't taste the food and get the best of the eating experience, meaning we don't feel the pleasure food is meant to give.

2. We don't connect with our body's hunger and fullness cues. As a result, we can end up overeating and often until we're uncomfortably full.

Adding mindfulness

To the eating experience

1. Set time aside to eat with no distractions
2. Make it a pleasant experience (candles, flowers, a variety of foods, foods that you enjoy…)
3. Take a couple of deep breaths before eating to ground yourself and bring your mind to the present moment
4. Be grateful for the food in front of you (thank the people who grew the food, the people who transported it, the people who organized it in the store…)
5. Tune in your body. Rate your hunger level from 1 (starving) to 10 (uncomfortably full).
6. Engage your senses: look at the texture, colors, shapes, taste each bite, notice the temperature
7. Slow down: make the intention to chew a few times, put the cutlery down
8. Mid-way through, recheck your hunger level and decide if it's time to stop or keep eating
9. Observe how your body reacts to the food without judgment and add curiosity

to your life

1. Start by being mindful of everyday activities (walking, cooking, washing the dishes, brushing your teeth). During this time, engage your senses. Feel, smell, listen, and see your surroundings, the objects, colors, textures, temperature… Be present in the activity. When thoughts come up (they will!), just bring your attention back to what you’re doing.

2. Use grounding exercises and your breath to return to the present moment when you catch your mind wandering and keep you from enjoying whatever situation you're in.

3. Observe your thoughts and how they make you feel. When they're not supportive, challenge them. This practice allows us to take control of our mental landscape, fostering a more positive and supportive inner dialogue.

Mindful living

From experience, the moment I decided I needed to be more mindful and intentional in my life, I started working on getting closer to the person I wanted to be. By being present in my daily life and putting my consciousness onto my thoughts and behaviors without judgment, I can live more peacefully inside and outside the plate.

When we're mindful, we put our conscious attention to what's happening now without judging or reacting to emotions, thoughts, or the situation. We understand that things are, and how we look at them impacts how we relate and respond.

If you would like to start living a more mindful life inside and outside the plate, let’s have a chat! DM me on Instagram or book a free call.